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Another Peek Inside Osama bin Laden's Diary
By Bernard Weiner

Allah be praised, I'm still alive! I fully expected a backlash from the evildoers, but not on this scale. This moving around every night or two is exciting, but it gets old -- like me -- pretty fast. Still, there's the "rush" from escaping the bombardments and the troops (thank Allah for our Afghan and Pakistani friends).

Several of our top lieutenants have been killed by the infidels. Many have been arrested, here and around the globe (although sometimes the authorities have no idea that they have al-Qaeda leaders in custody!); many who I thought were stalwart soldiers of Allah have fallen away in cowardice; others are remaining in place, or re-establishing new identities and locations, awaiting word. In short, the network has been badly disrupted, worse than I thought it would be.

I was hoping that there would be an Islamic uprising as the imperial infidels began bombing Afghanistan. I didn't realize that, with the United States as the only superpower in the world, that they would go global on us, and frighten so many into silence.

So we made some big errors of judgement and strategy. But there have been so many positive developments from our September 11th action -- which will unfold in their richness over time.

1. I really didn't mean to awaken the sleeping beast quite this way. I thought America would react as if to a bad hornet's sting, maybe lob some missiles at our training camps like Clinton did, tighten up their immigration rules, maybe some roundups of a few suspects. Instead, Allah be praised, the U.S. is behaving like a mad bull in a shop of expensive china. It is raining bombs and bullets all over the world, and promising to do more -- even threatening to unleash its nuclear arsenal -- thereby alienating not just small groups of our supporters but entire countries -- even continents, such as Europe! It's clear that the "war on terrorism" isn't just about us and our friends, but represents a convenient rationalization for the U.S. to assert its power and control everywhere.

In short, the U.S, is becoming what I could only have hoped for: a reckless, arrogant bully attacking and threatening one Moslem country after another. I thought it would take al-Qaeda and our friends years to foment hatred, and the coming jihad, against America; Bush is making sure that movement is building organically, within less than a year. Thanks be to Allah.

2. In addition, America under Bush and his cronies is becoming a neofascist country internally. Never would have I imagined that Bush would attack his country's own Constitution in search of al-Qaeda. A martial society -- what a bonus! When the U.S. falls, as it must, it will be so much easier to install our own strict religious and political institutions, because Ashcroft and his bosses will have laid the foundation.

3. Because nothing much has happened in the way of attacks since 9/11, the American public has lulled itself back to sleep, thinking themselves secure. They are going to be severely stunned when we get our action groups re-organized and ready to move. No more namby pamby plane-bomb crashes; those were designed to deliver a message: The world has changed, you are vulnerable anywhere, anytime. No more delivering messages; we're going big time.

It's so obvious. The day of conventional high-tech warfare is over, although the U.S. (perhaps to help its economy) is still building more and more high-tech weaponry. We don't need it; we have our low-tech specialties, designed to cause the maximum amount of damage and disruption and fright -- which means we can control the economic health of the United States of America anytime we want to.

In Afghanistan, they drop big bombs from 15,000 feet up, while we hide deep in caves or (thanks to our friends who tip us off) disappear down paths to other areas. And then we attack when we want to and disappear again. Ho, Ho, Ho Chi Minh. He knew which way the wind was blowing, and how to battle the big beast.

In that angry beast's own country, we (and future terrorists) can tie them up, blow them up, stir them up, scare them anytime we feel like it. A nuclear facility here, a port there, some biological agent in a mall, chemicals in a reservoir, suicide martyrs on the bridges, and on and on -- and, despite all their vaunted high-tech "security" measures, they can't really stop us. The economy plummets again. Life will be a living hell for them for generations -- as it has been, thanks to them, for so many of our brethren -- until their civilization's demise, may Allah will it.

Whether I'll get to see that glorious day is unknown. By all rights, I should be dead by now. But the Americans always seem to leave avenues of escape; I'm beginning to suspect that's by design, as I can remain the bogeyman and Bush can use me to scare his people and carry out his Pax Americana plans around the globe.

As for the Jew-beast Sharon in Israel, he's our best asset in provoking Muslim solidarity, just by being himself. He and Arafat -- that corrupt piece of tired flesh -- have brought things to a boil, and have no idea how to escape the war trap they've created for themselves. If I could, I'd send more arms to both sides. And a thank-you note to George Bush, for his, as usual, inept foreign policy -- trying to pretend he can stop the pressure-cooker building up in Palestine by doing next to nothing. (And that corrupt U.S. lackey from my homeland with his phony peace plan that would legitimize Israel's right to exist -- we'll take care of him, and the other so-called "leaders" of Arab countries who lick Bush's boots.)

I can't wait for the full-scale battle to start: the Muslim world vs. Israel, the U.S. vs. Iraq (and Yemen and Somalia and Iran). All I have to do is step aside and let the holy war begin.

I hope Ashcroft will imprison all the critics within his borders, those who want U.S. policy in the region to change, who want to work rigorously for peace in the Middle East, who want less corruption and authoritarian rule & repression in Arab (and even within the U.S.) lands. Keep those bombs and invasions coming, George! You are the best ally we could have hoped for.

All for now. Gotta run -- for real.

Bernard Weiner, a poet and playwright, was the San Francisco Chronicle's theater critic for nearly 20 years. He holds a Ph.D. in government & international relations and has taught at various universities.