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The Congressional Record

by Will Rogers (from a radio program aired May 12, 1935)

"Did I ever tell you about the first time I ever had any of my stuff in the "daily" [Congressional Record]? Well, I'd written some fool thing and it pertained to the bill they was arguin' (or should I say that they was kiddin' about!). Some senator read my little article. Well, anything that a senator says goes into the Record. So as it was during his speech, it naturally went into the Record.

"Well, another senator rose and said {as they always do} "Does the gentleman yield?" They always say that - least they call each other "gentleman" in there. But the tone they put on the word, it would sound more appropriate if they came right out and said "Would the coyote from Maine yield?" 'cause that's about the way it sounds. Well, then, the other senator says "I yield" (for if he don't the other guy'll keep on talking anyhow). So the the coyote from Maine says "I yield to...the polecat from Oregon!"

Well, anyhow, when this senator read my offering, the other senator said (after all the yielding was all over) "I object! I object to the remarks of a professional jokemaker being put into the Record!" Well, he had me all wrong - compared to them, I'm an amateur! And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, everytime they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!"