For entertainment value alone, it's great to see America's best known bigot back in the saddle. We missed your hissing vitriol, Pat! Thanks for these new anti-immigrant commercials. Hey, Pat, where were your ancestors from? Unless you're a native American, they must have gotten off the boat at some point. Too bad we couldn't have kept them out of the country. Now it's too late, and we're stuck with you.

With his pitchfork brigade reduced to a ragtag group of hardcore bigots and reactionaries, Pat is claiming that he has the "big one" on his side. But is it God or the guy with horns and a tail that's backing you, Pat? Our bet is that it's the devil that made him do it.

Oh, Pat, you were the king of the populist hate crowd without a worry in the world. Now the Reform Party is split in half; you and your sister are accused of financial irregularities; you've just gone through two rounds of surgery; and now, Mr. Journalist, some pointy-headed professor charges you with plagiarism. Holy Mussolini, what is a bigot to do?

That's what a disgruntled campaign worker alleges -- and he's filed a complaint with the FEC. The former Buchanan follower claims that Pat's sister, "Babe" Buchanan, is at the heart of the financial monkey business. Put aside Pat's bigotry and Mussolini populism for a moment, the question on the table is, "Where did the money go?"

Pat Buchanan prides himself on his youthful years of brawling, including some punches he threw at a police officer. So, he must feel right at home amidst the rowdy, raucous scuffles at the Reform Party Convention. Like most disputes in America, the confrontation between Pat's paleolithic pitchfork brigade and the Perot Reform party stalwarts appears headed for the courts. Will the row in Long Beach distract media attention from covering the pre-convention travels of the Democratic ticket?

Looking a bit drawn and dyspeptic, Pat Buchanan arrives in Long Beach. He boasts that he has enough votes to claim the dubious Reform Party nomination. But it may be a Pyrrhic victory. The convention is splitting in half, as warring factions square off for a pitched battle.

While celebrating Al Gore's bold V.P. decision, don't forget that Pat Buchanan is lieing in wait. If Buchanan is nominated, prepare to see his large contingent of Anti-Semitic supporters crawl out of the swamp to launch a vile attack on the Gore-Lieberman ticket. Beefed up security is in the works as the Reform Party prepares to rumble in Long Beach beginning on Tuesday. It is still possible that Pat will not make it to the Big Show. One can only hope.