AP reports: "Resident Bush has several thousand dollars' worth of gifts he's decided to keep and assets of at least eight million dollars. The figures are in annual financial disclosure forms that public officials are required to file with the Office of Government Ethics. Bush reported that he had assets between eight-point-eight and 21-point-nine million dollars at the end of last year. His documents also show presidential gifts worth just over 14-thousand dollars in all. That includes a boat and boat dock. Vice Resident Dick Cheney valued his assets at between 19 and 86.4 million dollars. His documents show he kept about 17-thousand dollars in gifts."

It's a well-known fact that Bush is such a simpleton that he has to keep a scorecard of all the "evildoers" to keep track of the results of the war on terrorism. Now you can help convert all the simpletons YOU know who think Bush is doing a good job by giving them the Wage Slave Journal's "George W. Bush Scorecard of Evil." As the Wage Slave site says, "It's getting harder every day to remember all of the truly mystifying policies the Bush administration is pursuing, so the Wage Slave Journal offers this scorecard to help you keep track of all of the evil deeds Bush commits and, more important, to provide a record for your perusal when November 2004 rolls around. Be sure to bookmark this page; something tells us we'll need to update it often." Yeah - on a minute-by-minute basis, we bet!

Budget shortfalls created by impractical tax cuts, underfunded Medicaid and education programs and failed charter schools – Bush did as much damage as he could in his six years as Texas governor. Remember his classic remark last year when confronted with the budget shortfall of $700 million, "I hope I'm not here to deal with it...I'm seeking another office." Molly Ivins reports on the gory details.

"The tee-ball scheme reeks of banana republic politics…(It conjures up images of Idi Amin or some other tin-pot dictator ordering his ministers to wrestle for him.)...It's wrong...The president shouldn't use the power of his office -- not to mention tax dollars… -- to undertake a public relations campaign for his favorite sport...Bush has assigned the baseball revival to his White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives...But this only masks the essential sleaziness of what he is doing, namely, giving an enormous favor to the industry that gave him his fortune. With his Texas Rangers stake covered by his Dad’s buddies, after "a few years, he sold out for $15 million. Now he's paying back Bud Selig and crew with a PR campaign that favors their multibillion-dollar sports industry over equally worthy rivals." Meanwhile, Bush cravenly sells out the physical and financial health of our children’s future with his pro-corporate policies. Don’t be conned by this Rovean stunt.

Bush held a lunch at the White House for a group of Baseball Hall of Famers. Bush lamely said, "Yogi's been an inspiration to me...not only because of his baseball skills, but, of course, for the enduring mark he left on the English language. Some in the press corps here even think he might be my speechwriter." No Dubya...no speechwriter -- not even Yogi Berra -- could script your mangled grammar and confused statements. No doubt your own speechwriters tear their hair out over how you unintentionally screw up their speeches. You are far from a great wit like Yogi, whose puns are for intentional comic effect. Don't try to cover-up your own linguistic ineptitude by comparing yourself to a humorist. Your malapropisms are closer to those of Norm Crosby, except his were deliberate jokes. Sorry, we ain't buying it. Tell Karl Rove and Karen Hughes to think of another way to smooth over your obvious incompetence.

"Florita Bell Griffin, a 1995 appointee of then-Gov. George W. Bush to the Texas Department of Housing and Community Affairs, was sentenced to seven years and three months for money laundering, bribery, theft, mail fraud and conspiracy charges…Griffin and [co-defendant] Roberts also were ordered to jointly pay $783,453 in fines. [Co-defendant] Walker and Roberts were accused of granting money, land and a quarter-interest in a Brazos County construction company to Griffin in exchange for her vote on federal tax credits, valued at as much as $8 million." There have been other alleged criminal activities exposed under Bush’s watch – especially with the state's healthcare system.

Can you see it now? Dubya is the host of a new talk show in Miami called "Hispanicallyspeaking." Actually, Dubya, the inability to speak basic English is starting to wear a little thin. It's losing its charm so to speak.

Who wants to be a millionaire? For $1 million, name the dumbest American President since 1900. Is it Shrub or Reagan? Sorry, no lifelines!

Yes, George really did say that he thought the death penalty was unfair. But, oh no, oops, he really meant to say the death tax was unfair. But then again, what did he really mean to say? Even Dubya doesn't know -- and that's the plain truth.

My Lord, it was really an impostor who delivered Bush's speech on Tuesday, not THE impostor himself, but an impostor of the impostor, so to speak. It's a bit confusing -- and shocking -- but read on.

The late author Jerzy Kosinski wrote the novel -- and later movie -- "Being There" about a simple-minded man who says dumb things that people mistake for profound insight. Hmmm, can you think of a modern day equivalent? We can.

"Well, well, well. Like Bush, like Shrub. Okay, Junior just who do you think you're wagging anyway? By the way just how were you able to pull that off with the broken down military you spoke of so often during the campaign? Poor thing, you'll try to escape who you are, but let me remind you. Sometimes people get so caught up in lies that they actually start to believe them. Here's the true recap:" (Click here for more.)

Hey, Bush says that Jesus turned his life around when he was 40. Well, we have discovered the Sermon on the Mount that changed his life and forever altered the course of history.

Conservative commentator Kevin Phillips tells it like it is. "If there were but one or two dubious elements to Bush's ascension, a question like this would be churlish. But the dubious elements of Bush's victory are so numerous that questions regarding his legitimacy are appropriate--even urgent."

Bush Tells California: "Drop Dead for All I Care, After All You Didn't Vote For Me And We Bushes Get Even": To the Rest of The Nation, He Says "Screw You If You Don't Like My Exteme Right Wing Cabinet" In a "candid" conversation with apologist "jounalist" Britt Hume, Dubya told it like it is: Support me or I won't give a crap about you.

Through carefully placed leaks inside the Bush Transition Team, we have managed to obtain a copy of King George's Coronation speech which he will deliver on January 20th. Reliable sources say he wrote most of it himself by combining elements from his many past speeches. It is rumored that he has spent most of the past several weeks secluded at his ranch memorizing this speech once he found out cue cards would not be possible at the Coronation. The speech has tentatively been titled: "The End of the Beginning and the Beginning of the End"

Reports out of the Bush camp are that Junior is getting a bit miffed at the tactics of Bubba Clinton. After all, President Bill is trying to protect the environment and civil rights through executive orders, and, frankly, that just pisses Dubya off. Junior might have even thrown a tantrum or two. Who knows? Baby sitter Dick Cheney will calm him down though. Don't worry about that!

Bush tosses around words like "principles" and "integrity," as if they were tin nickels. Can anyone identify even one "principle" that Bush stands for, other than stealing the election at all costs.

Foreigners ask you: "How could you elect Alfred E. Newman President?" Okay, so you don't know what to say. Here's a primer that can help you overcome those uncomfortable moments abroad.

W resigned as Governor of Texas today. This was a very bad career move, since he may find himself without a job when Congress votes to reject the 25 Florida electoral votes that he stole with the help of his brother Jeb. Stay tuned...

Under heavy fire from Tim Russert, Dick Gephardt, Tom Daschle, and Jesse Jackson refused to grant legitimacy to the Commander-in-Thief. You go, guys!

Hey, Dubya didn't do a whole lot about including Texas Democrats in his "victory" speech, unless they were already in his back pocket. So much for all the glorious speechifying about uniting and not dividing.

George W. Bush got away with the theft of the Presidency today. In his speech to the nation, he made absolutely no mention of the fact that he received fewer votes than his opponent, and that he won only by using his brother's power and the Federal Courts to block a fair and accurate count of the votes. The brainwashing of America to forget the crime - and the rewriting of history to somehow legitimate Bush as President - began immediately.

George W. Bush stole the Presidency of the United States with the help of his brother Jeb Bush, his Florida co-chair Katherine Harris, and five partisan Supreme Court Justices appointed or promoted by Reagan-Bush and Bush-Quayle administrations. Bush thereby assumes the Presidency on the basis of a crime against the American people – and against Democracy itself. We call upon the next Congress to Impeach President Bush. If they fail, we will elect a new Congress in 2002 that will do so. We will never accept the theft of the Presidency.

You decide!

What are our children learning from this election? Sadly, I think many of them are learning what you can get away with if your name is Bush.

A former Reagan Justice Department attorney, of all people, predicts that Bush will get creamed in the Supreme Court. Of course, the Bush strategists are holding the Supreme Court appeal as their trump card. They may decide to pull the appeal if the Gore Florida court challenges falter in the first few days of the week.

When you run a campaign that features integrity, honesty and trust as its central feature, you set yourself up for a high standard of conduct. The American public now has seen how George W. Bush will behave when confronted with a crisis -- and it is not a pretty picture. The actions and words of the Bush campaign in Florida are shameful and disreputable -- clear and simple. Indeed, on several issues of fundamental values and behavior, Bush and his campaign have shown themselves to be brazenly hypocritical, dishonest and in violation of their own core values. Bush has violated the basis of trust between himself and the American public and should not assume the presidency.

Listen to Bush's exact words: "As I said, the Legislature's job is to write law. It's the Executive branch job to interpret the law." But according to the Constitution, the COURTS interpret the law, not the Executive branch. Bush made this statement during his denunciation of the Florida Supreme Court for rejecting his attempt to stop the manual recounts. Was this a slip of the tongue - or an declaration of intent by a Bush administration to refight the battle for judicial supremacy that was settled in Marbury v. Madison? You might think someone would ask Bush for a clarification on an issue as crucial as this. But as far as we know, no one has. In fact, no one has even reported on this, except for a paragraph on p. 34 of the print version of the New York Times on 11/23/00 which was removed from the web version of the article. How can this man put his hand on a Bible and swear to uphold the Constitution of the United States, if he has no idea what it says??

Having a double standard is just second nature to Good Ol' Dubya. As the attached Texas citation indicates, in Texas a ballot with a "pregnant chad" qualifies as one to be included in a final tally. But, of course, the Bush legal eagles are arguing against such an approach in Florida. My oh my, the hypocrisy just keeps on piling up.

The Bush campaign has reached new lows in its effort to advert defeat at the hands of Florida voters. It is accusing the Gore campaign of everything from voter fraud to disrespect for military personnel. Let's hope the Gore campaign doesn't let these cynical and desperate charges go unanswered. It is Republican bullying in its purest and most despicable form.

The hypocrisy of George W. Bush is so appallingly audacious that it can leave an honest man gasping for breath. In 1997, Dubya supported and signed a bill that indicated manual recounts were a more accurate and preferable mechanism than machine recounts. Can anything be more hypocritical than Bush's team now claiming that hand recounts are inaccurate and that only machines can be trusted? Perhaps the only more hypocritical and cynical action is Bush's betrayal of his support of states rights when he unsuccessfully asked the Federal courts to intercede in matters before a state election board.

It's positively weird what's going on in Bush world now. For all practical purposes, Bush is sequestered in his ranch doing God only knows what. In the meantime, Papa B's former Secretary of State is running the show in Florida, while Jeb holds the leash on Ms. Harris. We can only assume that Baker is in regular contact with Bush, the Papa Bush that is. If ever there was proof that Dubya is just the straw man that the Papa Bush cronies are propping up, this is it.

Forget all the lofty "integrity" rhetoric of the campaign, the Bush machine is just another hack operation. Their high stakes, blatant effort at bullying their way into the White House debunks any notion whatsover that Dubya is a man of honor.

Al Gore made a fair and decent proposal to the Papa B team that's running Junior's Florida strategy. Let's recount the whole damn state, every county, Gore offered. It didn't take but a minute or two for Papa B's advisors to shoot the idea down. It did accomplish one thing: Dubya himself emerged from seclusion to say a word or two. What's he been up to on his ranch? Is the stress getting to him?

In Florida, the Bush campaign has exercised a fuzzy logic. Positions change by the moment, contradicting each other by the minute. There's no logic, honesty, or integrity to Bush's stances. The only consistency in his campaign's Florida pronouncements is that he'll do anything and say anything to win.

Oh Where, Oh Where can my Dubya be? Oh Where, Oh Where can he be? It seems Dubya is on his ranch nursing his lanced boil. Or maybe he's out partying. No one really knows, do they?

According to John McCain, Bush turns to his darker side when the going gets rough, so he's imported a smear and run hit squad to Florida. They hail from South Carolina, where they got practice in beating up mercilessly on McCain. "We play it different down here," one of Bush's top South Carolina advisors told Time magazine in February. "We're not dainty, if you get my drift. We're used to playin' rough."

Time will tell, but it is possible that the Bush campaign, unprepared for the revitalized Gore challenge, made a big strategic blunder. By challenging,on the flimsiest of grounds, the process of hand balloting, they blew the possibility of requesting recounts in their own GOP vote rich Florida counties. In the end, it may be a high-risk decision that will cost them the state and the election.

Roger Ebert calls movies as he sees them and isn't normally a political commentator. But given the great void of insight on the election, due to the cabbage brain commentery of the nattering nabobs of D.C. inanity, it is refreshing to see that at least Ebert is out there to see through the phony facade of the Bush propoganda machine. Roger, you get two thumbs up from us!

On Monday, a Florida Federal Judge summarily dismissed the efforts of the Bush campaign to quash the manual recounts. Reinforcing that the conduct of elections is decided in the venue of state courts, the judge spent little time in sending the Bush lawyers packing. Of course, the whole idea of Bush proposing to a Fedral court that states can't be trusted was his most blatantly hypocritical and preposterous act of the campaign. It was also a betrayal of his off-stated support of state's rights and the need to keep the Federal government out of the business of the states. But when you're desperate, you'll do anything, right?

Yes, this is the article dating back to November 1 that reveals the most fundamental hypocrisy in the Bush campaign. His strategists, before last Tuesday's vote vowed to fight the results if Bush had won the popular vote and Gore the Electoral College. That's more or less the position that Gore is in now, except he has credible reasons for challenging the Florida outcome.

In 1997, George W. championed and signed a bill that established manual recounts as more accurate than machine tallies. Well if it's good enough for Texas, why isn't it good enough for Florida? Good question indeed?

When you look at Governor Bush's personal history, you discover the kind of reckless behavior that the GOP junkyard dogs have been launching savage attacks against for years! Furthermore, the way that Bush has handled unwelcome disclosures is extremely similar to how the President handled his personal crisis. Of course, that begs the question about when the Republicans are going to start calling for an investigation of Dubya. Don't hold your breath.

On the eve of the Presidential election, George W. Bush's military records cannot be found. Democrats.com discovered the files had vanished this afternoon while filing a Freedom of Information Act request seeking information from the Bush file that has not previously been disclosed.

Here's the official glossary of Dubya Talk. It's a must for those wanting to decipher the words and wisdom of George W. Bush.

Okay, just suspend your disbelief and disgust for a moment. Imagine Dubya, with his checkered past, as the Democratic standard bearer. Yeah, you know it, the Republican hit squads would make mince meat of him, just like in this ad they might run.

So much for Mr. Nice Guy, the Houston Chronicle writes that Bush enjoys retaliating against people who don't jump on board the Bush bandwagon. Now what's that you're saying about integrity George?

And Molly has more to say: "You cannot slide through life on your daddy's name, turning in a poor performance in school and the military and a distinctly questionable performance in the business world, loaf through a few years in baseball trading Sammy Sosa and then tell outrageous lies about your part-time performance in a powerless job. This is silly." Check it out.

For eight years, the right wing has hounded, harassed and attempted to impeach Bill Clinton over ridiculous issues. So how come they aren't screaming about Bush's lies and unseemly behavior? Just asking.

That's what Dubya thinks, that Social Security is a state program. Well, we always knew, right? He's a liar -- and he's stupid too.

Are we too polite to print the full word? Maybe, but the article says it all. Dubya's as crude as they come -- and apparently his love for his wife may have its limitations, because after politics he talks with the Papa about women and a certain part of their anatomy. The GOP would have ripped Clinton to shreds for this kind of sophomoric banter.

Here it is, an article that's got the smoking gun on how the media, in this case Tim Russert, sought out GOP dirt on Al Gore. News producers allegedly sought out the Bush opposition reserach team for their "high quality material." Russert's a low life guttersnipe masquerading as a Washington pundit. As for the Bush campaign, shouldn't we have expected a sleaze operation grom the the Bushes. After all, the Papa let Lee Atwater run rough shod over Dukakis --and Dubya and Lee caroused around together in the '88 campaign.

Answering jury duty summons in 1996, Gov. George W. Bush concealed his 3 arrests, the Austin American-Statesman revealed today. The sworn document, required of all people summoned in Travis County for jury duty, asked "Have you ever been accused, or a complainant, or a witness in a criminal case?" Bush did not answer the question, despite his DUI conviction in 1976 and 2 earlier arrests in 1968 for theft and property destruction. Can anyone spell "Obstruction of Justice"?

Michael Moore, producer of "The Awful Truth" on Bravo, hit this one right out of the park. "How many times have YOU been arrested? Me, none. Most of you -- once? twice? This guy has been arrested AT LEAST THREE TIMES! How many people do you know have been arrested three times? Go ahead, do a quick count on your fingers. The answer? NONE! Yet, we are being asked on Tuesday to vote for a man who has been arrested THREE TIMES. For President of the United States! Are they kidding? The Republicans must take us all for idiots. The first arrest of George W. Bush was for theft at a hotel. The second arrest was for disorderly conduct at a football game. The third arrest, we've now learned, is for a very serious crime -- drunk driving. What's the next crime committed by George W. Bush that we will learn of? When will we learn it? It is time for everyone to demand the truth from Governor Bush. I'm telling you, we haven't heard the last of his criminal behavior."

Republican distortionists are claiming that Bush is showing his character by telling the truth about his DUI arrest. But in fact, Bush just exposed a lie he told in 1998. "Just after the governor's reelection in 1998, [Dallas Morning News reporter Wayne] Slater pressed Bush about whether he had ever been arrested. 'He said, "After 1968? No."'" The DUI arrest was 1976. Everyone repeat after me: L-I-A-R!

George W. Bush made at least half a dozen attempts to blame the DUI story on the Gore campaign. There's no deep dark mystery to this one - a TV reporter covering another story in a Maine courthouse got a tip from a courthouse police officer who overheard local lawyers talking about Bush's long-forgotten DUI. If the Gore campaign wanted to plant this story, they wouldn't have waited until the end, and hoped that some lawyer talking to a friend would be overheard by an unknown third party who would run to a little-known local reporter working for Ruppert Murdoch, Roger Ailes, and FOX!! The Gore campaign had absolutely nothing to do with this story. It just shows what kind of "character" Bush has - whenever he gets caught, he looks for someone else to blame. Quit lying about Gore's campaign, George!

Hard to believe, but Bush's support is concentrated in states with small populations. As a result, some pundits say Bush could win more than 30 states and still lose the election. Let's hope so!

Back in 1976, George W. Bush was caught DUI near the family home in Maine. He pled guilty, paid a $150 fine, and lost his license. Four years earlier in 1972, Bush was grounded from flying because he refused to take his flight physical shortly after random drug testing began. Moreover, Bush says he has not used illegal drugs *since* 1974. Bush must release his FULL military records so we can find the "smoking jet" that proves that Bush was Flying Under the Influence of either alcohol or illegal drugs - not only breaking the law, but also putting multi-million dollar aircraft and the nation's defense at risk.

Oh, that George has a way with words, doesn't he? Slate.com has been posting the best "Bushisms" from time to time. Here's today's pick of the litter.

Dubya has been pretty parsimonious in talking with the press lately. In fact, he hasn't had a news conference in weeks. Given his penchant for putting his foot in his mouth, is anyone surprised?

In recent years, the Republican mantras have been "original intent of the Founding Fathers" and "the rule of law". But if Al Gore wins the majority of votes in the Electoral College, George W. Bush plans to steal the election using right-wing talk radio and a massive advertising blitz. Buckle up folks, we could be in for a very bumpy ride.

Remember that Aretha Franklin Tune: "I'm Just a Natural Born Woman." Well Dubya's version is "I'm Just a Natural Born Liar." The rumor is that he sings it in the shower every morning. The great and tragic irony of this campaign is that the Bush spinners tagged Al Gore as an exaggerator when it is the Bush Boy who has a chronic problem with telling the truth.

Lots of chilling scares are in store when you look at the skeleton's piled up in Dubya's closet. Not for the squeamish!

Remember that Aretha Franklin Tune: "I'm Just a Natural Born Woman." Well Dubya's version is "I'm Just a Natural Born Liar." The rumor is that he sings it in the shower every morning. The great and tragic irony of this campaign is that the Bush spinners tagged Al Gore as an exaggerator when the Bush Boy is the one who has a chronic problem with telling the truth.

Bush probably can't pronounce the word prevaricator -- and would have to run to the dictionary to figure out what it means. But he'd find his photo there right next to the word. Molly Ivins is pure Molly in telling us how Dubya wouldn't support the hate crimes bill in Texas. More than that, he was a divisive uncompassionate figure in the whole affair.

In endorsing Gore, the New York Times went out of its way to say nice things about Dubya. Are they hedging their bets in case Bush wins and they want access to his administration? Or are they truly blind to Dubya's sophomoric lying and flaws? It takes one of our readers to take on the esteemed paper of record.

Bush probably can't pronounce the word prevaricator -- and would have to run to the dictionary to figure out what it means. But he'd find his photo there right next to the word. Molly Ivins is pure Molly in telling us how Dubya wouldn't support the hate crimes bill in Texas. More than that, he was a divisive uncompassionate figure in the whole affair.

George W. Bush did not fulfill the military obligations that he committed himself to as a 21 year old in 1968. This happened because he quit flying in 1972 as a 25 year old with over 2 years of flying commitment still required. The public should know that there have been misstatements and exaggerations on the part of Governor Bush and his staff to attempt to cover-up this lack of fulfillment of a commitment. The public has a right to know what really happened when meeting a military obligation when one seeks the Office of President of The United States.

Governor Bush has made credibility the central issue of this campaign, and makes almost daily references to the Vice President’s alleged exaggerations and lack of truthfulness. But on a subject that could not be more important for his presidential candidacy, his own military service, the record shows that George W. Bush has exaggerated and even lied about his service.

When it comes to where Bush stands on abortion, it sort of depends which day you talk to him. He's generally been trying to give the appearance of being a reasonable guy about the whole thing. But, of couse, he's not. The right to lifers believe that Bush is their man and so do we.

Sometimes we ask ourselves: are we too tough on Bush "Lite"? But we think about his ongoing assertion that the Texas death penalty is administered fairly and justly, and we realize just what a liar he is. Not only is he trying to deceive people, but he is doing so about an issue that is literally a matter of life and death. Yes, George, you do have a bit of the devil about you. We just can't help ourselves, because it's true.

If you are worried about too many guns on our streets, you should be scared to death of George W. Bush winning the election. Not only is the NRA backing him, they are backing him up with big bucks. They lead all comers in campaign support for their man George.

About that Howdy Doody thing. Bush's campaign has successfully developed this brush off: "You're an elitist (i.e., intellectual) if you think the Governor is too dim-witted to be President." The Bush campaign has taken America's inbred suspicion of intelligent leaders to an extreme. It really boils down to this: The Bush consultants are relying on a sort of perverted affirmative action. "Why can't Howdy Doody be president?" Karen Hughes might ask. "Are you prejudiced against dumb people, or what?" This second grade gambit has astonishingly kept the media away from even remotely questioning Bush's fitness to be the leader of the most powerful nation on earth. It's as if the whole campaign press corps chowed down on Lotus leaves. Maybe they have.

George W. Bush gave the NRA everything that they wanted in Texas. That is why he merits their "A" grade. Gore on the other hand flunked out of his gun lobby class, getting a bottom-of-the-barrel "F". (After click through, scroll to the bottom of the NRA endorsement page.)

Last May, BuzzFlash.com wrote a commentary highlighting Dubya's "compassion" for bigots and racists that he has appointed in Texas. When he "suspended" his Texas Health Commissioner last week for racist and bizarre comments, it was only because the election is two weeks away. Notice that he did not fire Dr. Archer, the lame brain brother of Rock Head Congressman Dick Armey, he only tucked him away until after the election is over. As the commentary indicates, Dr. Archer showed his bigot credentials more than once over the last three years -- and Bush did nothing about it. That is until the election rolled around.

Bush says look at my Texas appointees as examples of whom I would appoint as President. God, are we in trouble then. The man that Bush wanted and supported as Texas Health Commissioner has been a bigoted wacko since day one. But Bush always backed his guy, that is until a couple of days ago. Now, trying to avoid an election-eve embarrasment, Bush is temporarily distancing himself from a doctor who has offended just about everyone over the past few years. Of course, until now, Bush thought the guy, who happens to be Rep. Bill Archer's son no less, was doing a fine job. It is appalling that half of the American electorate is probably going to vote for a man as unprincipled as Bush.

The rancid smell of a wealthy n'er-do-well who lets the hired help do his dirty work is becoming an intolerable stench. Bush has long been the water boy for the NRA, so much so that one of their Vice Presidents boasted that the gun zealots will have an office in the West Wing if Bush is elected. Of course, Dubya cries foul whenever this is brought up, as he did in the third debate. But the raffish lord of the manor always becomes indignant when charged with base cunning and hypocrisy. That's because he's hired thugs to beat up on his accusers. That was Papa Bush's modus operandi when he let Lee Atwater run roughshod over every ethical standard in his 1988 campaign against Dukakis. And who rode shotgun with Lucifer Lee back in '88? Why it was good ol' George W. Campaign hands at the time swear that they were two peas in the pod: Lee and Dubya. Which brings us to the odious report from a Michigan paper that Charlton "NRA" Heston suggested that Gore be lynched at a get out the vote rally for Bush. Of course, Dubya will act all offended and accuse people of saying that he has a black heart if they tie him to the exhortation. Because as far as the Bushes are concerned, their hands are clean. That's what the servants are for: to do the thuggish intimidation and disreputable activity that needs to be done. Has George W. said a word about the threatening rhetoric of his good friend, Chuck Heston? No, we haven't heard a peep. After all, George W. thinks his hands are clean. But they are as dirty as a gardener's thumbnail -- and they stink to high heaven.

With your help, the Smokingjet.com campaign is making a difference! Salon Magazine gives Democrats.com credit for breathing life into the all-but-ignored scandal over Bush's incomplete military service, and his repeated lies about it on the campaign trail. "The issue of honesty, integrity and who's telling the truth has been probably the most important issue Bush has used against Gore in this campaign," Fertik says. "Bush says, 'I reported, I served my time.' Well, if he's lying about something this fundamental that's an issue that should be taken into account." This story proves that e-mailing reporters can make a difference. So keep the pressure on the media by visiting www.smokingjet.com!

Remember that an NRA vice president has boasted that the pro-gun group will have an office in the White House if Bush is elected. Now Charlton "Moses" Heston is rallying the troops to turn out for the man who did them proud in Texas, Dubya. The NRA says that George gave them everything they wanted in the Lone Star State, including a law that allows people to carry handguns into churches and hospitals.

Molly Ivins knows the "Shrub" as well as anyone, and she thinks that he plays fast and loose with the facts. There are other reasons that he shouldn't be President, she says: "I have thought since he first ran that George W. Bush was too light to be governor of Texas. Frankly, I can't imagine why anyone would consider him for president. He's not smart, he doesn't know much and he doesn't work hard."

They say that Bush is the fifth most powerful decision maker in Texas, with the oil and insurance companies coming in first and second. So it's no surprise that he's no friend to the working men and women in America. On almost every issue concerning unions, Bush is on the other side. Union members from Texas are now touring the country to get the word out that a Bush presidency will be a set back for working families.

Bush's office sat on a letter of confession to a murder that would clear two men rotting in a Texas prison. By all accounts, the murder case in question is symbolic of the unfair, broken system of justice in the Lone Star State. It is another example of how Bush lies about his record in Texas. Of course, when it comes to a murder case, lives are at stake. Whenever that's brought up, it just seems to bring a smirk to Bush's face. The guy does have a dark heart after all.

Boy Scout George W., the man who regularly charges Gore with exaggerating, has been caught making false claims about his Texas record, yet again. This time it involves the amount of money Texas spends on healthcare for the poor. It seems Dubya embellished his numbers a bit, take a few billion dollars here or there. Oh that George W., he's such a knave. You got to love the exaggerating rascal.

As far as presidential candidates in the last half-century, George W. Bush takes the cake on one thing. Never has there been a candidate whose rhetoric is so flagrantly contradicted by his record in office. Bush bragged about his Texas charter schools program in the October 3rd debate, for instance. Well, it turns out that students in the Lone Star State charter schools score 20% below kids in Texas public schools. Charter schools in Texas also close at twice the rate of their counterparts in other states. It takes an underachiever like George W. to boast about an underachieving school program. But the kids of Texas are the ones who suffer as a result.

How bad is the Govenor's Texas record when it comes to kids and healthcare? It's about as bad as you can get. In fact, the Lone Star state ranks at the bottom of the barrel. It has the third worst rate of kids with no health insurance in the USA. So, forget all about Bush's stump speeches about how important kids are to him. When it comes to healthcare and kids, Bush is a regular Scrooge. Instead of more medical care for the children of Texas, he gave tax breaks to the wealthy.

Among the many falsehoods that Bush flung out in the debate, a former Russian Foreign Minister took offense at one of them. In fact, the guy is so upset, he's threatening to sue Dubya for libel. Can we speed this trial up? It would be great to see George W. deposed. Who knows, he might even commit perjury in such a case. Egads! Where is Kenneth Starr when we need him?

During Wednesday's presidential debate, George Bush connected the Net and youth violence -- demonstrating a deep misunderstanding of the reality of techno-culture. It was also a profound political blunder: there are more Americans turning 18 than ever before, and they now know that at least one presidential candidate is an idiot.

With less than a month to go before Americans vote Bush is in a better position than any Republican presidential candidate in a dozen years. Why? In the simplest terms it is because Bush has learned to mask Republican policy objectives behind gauzy, unspecific babble and get away with it. He is opposed to effective gun control, but will not say so. He is opposed to measures to address and correct environmental damage, but he will not say so. He is opposed to ensuring that homosexuals cannot be attacked and intimidated with impunity, but he will not say so. Downturns in the prospects of Texas oilmen provoke him to use taxpayer funds to protect them while poor children without healthcare are left to fend for themselves, but he will not say so. There are a few actions left we can take to make sure we do not have to suffer through George II’s on-the-job-training.

George W. Bush is going to regret raising the "accuracy in debate" issue. At last count, Bush was wrong 16 times in the second debate. This includes two whoppers that may wind up in court. First, Bush's insistence that James Byrd's killers will be executed - while that sentence is on appeal - may lead to the overturn of that sentence. Second, Viktor Chernomyrdin says he will sue Bush for saying that he "pocketed" IMF loans. In the next debate, Bush may want to put those marbles back in his mouth.

You might think that Dubya had bad body odor the way that McCain is keeping his distance. With all the talk early on in the summer that John would be working his butt off for Bush, McCain has been spending most of his time on the hustings raising money for other GOP candidates. Perhaps he wants to make sure a lot of Republican office holders owe him a favor or two. Then if Dubya loses, good 'ol John will be around to pick up the pieces.

Well, George's response to a question about Lebanon might indicate cause for concern. After all, he said that he supported a U.S. role in the war-torn country that occurred in the Reagan administration. Bush and Cheney have mad a big deal out of staying out of expeditionary missions, but George W. made an exception for one of the worst foreign policy blunders the U.S. has implemented in 20 years. What was he thinking?

Sometimes a man can get all bollixed up when he's talking about things that get his mojo going. That might explain why George W. mixed up and messed up the verdicts in a famous hate crime in Texas. Of course, George W. was trying to show that there is no need for a hate crimes bill. In the end, he did just the opposite. It was a defining moment in the last debate, for those who were paying attention.

The truth will out. A Bush spokesman has now made it official. George W. will limit which women can have access to RU-486, directly contrary to his statements in the first debate in Boston. Bush's favorite line is "I trust the American people" - unfortunately, Bush (like his father, who appointed Clarence Thomas and supported every effort to outlaw and restrict abortion) doesn't consider women to be people.

Nearly all of the examples of supposed prevarication by Mr. Gore—from Love Story to Love Canal—have been effectively discredited. Still the slanders on Mr. Gore persist, thanks to the Republican National Committee and certain eager media accomplices, whose fidelity to facts is far less reliable than a Firestone tire.

In West Virginia, the Bush Campaign announced four co-chairs for their educators for Bush committee. The only problem was that half of them were never asked and didn't want to serve.

Finally, the Gore campaign is bringing up issues relevant to Bush's capacity to govern. First on the list, can George W. conduct the business of the United States or will Dick Cheney be pulling the strings behind the curtain? Because, as the Gore people are finally saying outloud, George W. is a little light in the loafers. That's something that should concern the American people. Then again, Reagan got elected twice.

A conservative columnist for the Republican-endorsing Chicago Tribune says that it is all over but the voting: Gore will win. Why? Well, this GOP cheerleader, for one, believes that Dubya failed his debate test: "He came across like an underprepared college student trying to bluff his way through an exam. The suit seemed too big for the candidate, in more ways than one: For Bush to tell us he's a leader is no substitute for sounding like one."

Poor George W! All those numbers confuse him when Papa Bush is not there to help him with his math. Anyway, when you're a Bush, you don't really need to learn to add, just call up the accountant. The Washington Post points out that Dubya used some fuzzy math of his own last Tuesday night. Anybody surprised?

While most of the pundits analyzed the debate in terms of perfomance, as if the debates were a test of one's demeanor, we are still left asking the key question:In the debate, did Bush prove that he isn't dumb? No, he didn't.

Well, we had so many irresistable entries in our BuzzFlash/Democrats.com contest that we are posting another one. This entry tells the tale of Bush as a ne'er-do-well from the backwoods. It begins, "If George Dubya wasn't born a Bush, I am certain that he would be the youngest member on the "Dead Pecker Bench" at a county court house somewhere in the depths of Texas. There he'd sit, spittin', whitlin' and spinnin'yarns of his high school party animal exploits..."

Bush either has a head full of "fuzzy math" or a mouth full of flip-flops. Pro-choice advocates are furious that Bush was dishonest in the debates about his position on the RU-486 pill. The man just can't be trusted.

In his first at bat in the majors George W. managed to connect with the ball a few times, but he didn't fall down or commit major errors. So as presidential politics is now scored, he gets credit for a grand slam. How have we permitted our expectations of candidate performance to be driven so low?

In its first major investigative report, Democrats.com has revealed that George W. Bush was mysteriously suspended from flight with two years left in his military service, and never again reported for a single day of duty, contrary to two direct orders.

Hey, forget about any criticisms of Gore for not being hard enough on Hollywood. Marilyn Manson, the macabre rock star, is throwing his support to George W. We'd like to see the photo op of the endorsement news conference.

George W. Bush jumped into bed with the NRA even before he was elected governor. So much so that the NRA is boasting that it will have an office in the West Wing if Dubya is elected. Well, it turns out that one of the laws that Bush enacted has allowed criminals to carry handguns in the Lone Star State. Moreover, more than 3,000 "law abiding" handgun toters have been arrested for a variety of crimes. You might say that George W. not only supports a law that results in more shootings, he doesn't do a good job of enforcing the law either.

"Well, you tell us what Dubya would be today if he weren't propped up by money and a blueblood family name." That was the challenge we posed to BuzzFlash and Democrats.com readers for a contest that ended on Friday, September 29. From the many responses we received, our man Dubya clearly would not have fared very well financially or otherwise if he hadn't been born a Bush. Heck, he was an utter failure as a businessman in real life, until Papa's friends staked his share in the Texas Rangers. So it isn't surprising that our readers thought that Bush, born to a poorer family, might have ended up as a Wal-Mart greeter, TV evangelist, used car or aluminum siding salesman, bartender, dirt farmer, Vietnam Vet (or killed in Vietnam), "bush league" baseball manager, or an inmate in a state prison (for drug charges). Oh, and we almost forgot: Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies.

Contrary to conventional wisdom, Al Gore may have the greater challenge in this week's debate. After all, no one expects much of George W. But Gore has to come off as Presidential but not patronizing, smart but not smarmy, and articulate but not glib. A Washington Post analysis of his past debate performances indicates that he is well prepared for the big one.

George W has by far the easier task in tomorrow night's debate. All he has to do is complete the course without falling down. Gore has by far the harder task since it is so hard to fit substance through such an insubstantial medium

Even though many of his fellow Republicans are openly critical of his deep tax cut proposal, George W. has once again put the ruinous idea center stage. It makes you wonder what sort of polling results his campaign handlers are seeing. George, why don't you promise seniors free prescriptions? Now that would be an idea worth pursuing.

Oh, how George W. likes to play the integrity card. Of course, that comes with being a Bush, not that you have to act with integrity. It's enough to have it in your bloodline, like some royal family gibberish. Well, one of the big bucks supporter of the Brothers Bush is a quack who George W. and Jeb promoted as an innovator in alternative medical care for seniors. If you are over 50, Bush may be dangerous to your health. Trust us. We have integrity.

With the real debates about to begin, all eyes are focused on Austin. That's because the real debate may be about who is behind the purloined Bush debate prep tapes. Whoever it is may be getting a bit nervous by now. What started out as a simple inquiry is now a full blown FBI investigation. Computers are being seized, correspondence examined, and video monitoring tapes reviewed. In a sure sign that the FBI is making headway, the chief target of the investigation has hired a lawyer. But word is out that the FBI is looking down the road at catching some fish on their hook, not just an administrative assitant minnow. Will it reach Karl Rove or will some junior staffer take the rap for him?

George W. is trying so hard to appear moderate, he was even going to avoid speaking at the Christian Coalition Conclave. After poor Dubya got beat up with an ugly stick over his infamous visit to Bob Jones U., his handlers wanted to avoid another photograph of him with his right wing supporters. But Pat Roberston felt snubbed and let the Bush Campaign know it. The compromise is that Georgy Boy will address Robertson's followers via a videotape. It must be difficult for Bush. To get elected, he has to avoid his friends for awhile.

That's right, Democrats.com and BuzzFlash.com are jointly sponsoring this exercise in wit. George W. Bush was a n'er-do-well in his academic, personal and business life until some friends of Papa Bush financed his stake in the Texas Rangers. It is pretty clear that if George W. wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he'd be...well, a grease jockey at a Jiffy Lube, for instance. Or a recovering alcoholic selling vacuum cleaners door-to-door. First place gets you a $100 gift certificate to an e-tailer.

Behind all the smoke and mirrors that the Bush campaign has thrown up, George W. is still an unrepentant conservative. Take the gun issue, for example. Bush is locked at the hip with the NRA. The guy even signed a bill allowing handguns in churches and hospitals. Martin Sheen puts Bush's dreadful pro-gun record in the crosshairs in a new ad from Handgun Control Incorporated.

In the latest "Debate Tape Gate" development, the FBI is zeroing in on an aide in the Bush campaign. Meanwhile, Bush's people are getting edgier by the minute, claiming that the FBI is biased and unreliable. Who do they think is fair, the KGB? This is a Bush dirty tricks caper from the word 'Go.'

Our man George W. actually has a problem with several words. Take "voucher" for instance. On a campaign swing through California, Bush never mentioned the word, even though he has been an ardent supporter of the concept. Could it be that the man who says he never waffles is playing it both ways, given that vouchers are a political hot potato? That's George W. for you, a man of his word, a man of integrity!

When a campaign starts criticizing the FBI, as Bush's minions have been doing, you know they're guilty. The wagons are circling in the "Debate Tapegate" scandal. The investigation is focusing on an employee of a Bush consultant. When the dust settles, you can bet the Bush campaign is going to have some explaining to do.

According to U.S. Census data, Texas, under George W., rose from 10th-highest poverty rate to 8th. Maybe that's why Dubya is so eager to move out of the Governor's mansion. A couple more years of his leadership and the Lone Star State might hit the number one spot when it comes to poverty.

"Debate Tape Gate" might appear to be getting more confusing by the day, with all the finger pointing and all. But when the dust settles, count on the Bush campaign being fingered for a dirty trick. The debate tape mailing has the figurative, if not literal, fingerprints of Bush Svengali Karl Rove on the envelope. And let's not forget that Dubya himself rode shotgun with Lee Atwater in Daddy's '88 campaign. They were two peas in a pod, people say, good 'ol Lee and George W.

He started off as the man on the horse who would bring a new day to Washington. Now he's just another whining Republican, yelping that the sky is falling. Given the strong economy, it must be desperation that's driving Dubya to start pulling the fire alarm. It's a prank that he probably tried when he was in prep school, but it may not work when he's running for President.

In 1995, our "Boy George" called Republican cuts on Medicare an act of "Political Courage." But Dubya, of course, is now attacking Gore for bringing up such troublesome little details. For all "Boy George" talks about trust, integrity and honesty, you would think that he would try them out once in awhile.

Who "stole" the Bush debate tapes and sent them to a Gore aide? Was it a Bush aide who was doing it as part of an effort to entrap the Gore camp? Was it a Lee Atwater-style dirty trick? After all, George W. rode shotgun with "Nasty" Lee durring Pappy's 1988 election. Two peas in a pod, reporters called them. So the tapes might not be stolen after all, just a bungled Bush effort to embarrass the Gore campaign. That would be George W's style.

When it comes to issues like abortion and gun control, George W. is out of sync with the most populous state in the nation. In addition, whites are now a minority in the Golden State. That may explain why the Bush campaign has been putting on the semblance of diversity. But the residents of California aren't buying it. Most pundits believe that George W. can kiss the state goodbye.

George W. wasn't eating any humble pie when he did his stint on Oprah. When Oprah asked George W. if he was smarter than the rest of us, he replied "Yes." Kind of scary.

George W. Bush is "a dream come true" for the National Rifle Association, according to wounded Reagan Press Secretary Jim Brady. Brady and other gun control advocates blasted George W. for his relentless pro-gun record, including a law that allows private citizens to bring handguns into churches, hospitals and nursing homes. Brady spoke as part of a Handgun Control Incorporated van tour crossing the Midwest to get the word out that Dubya is a water boy for the NRA.

A conservative group is telling it like it really is as far as the GOP is concerned. The spot from the Republican Ideas Political Committee features a woman who pulled her son out of public schools. The reasons: drugs, violence and "a bit more diversity than he can handle." That's the GOP spirit behind the window dressing of "compassion."

Poor Georgy Boy. All the rock stars that his daughters probably listen to burned him at the stake on Thursday night at a Democratic Fundraiser at Radio City Music Hall. Even Julia Roberts came out of the non-partisan closet and declared herself one of us. Actor Matt Damon compared Dubya to the craven, feckless Fredo of Godfather fame: "They didn't even let that guy run the family business, much less the country."

With Bush trailing Gore and the election just a few weeks off, the "party down and think light" man needs air time to regain lost ground. But, guess what, the Olympics are going to crowd out the Bushman's message, whatever that is on any given day. That increases the importance of debates. We can't wait until George W. tries to pronounce Milosevic. Go Team USA!

Slate offers six reasons why Bush won't be able to reverse his current bad fortune. Peace and prosperity favor Gore. But it may be the words "stubborn and stupid" that most hamper Dubya.

It's been a rocky road for Dubya lately, with all his bumbling and stumbling. So his handlers called the Bush "debate dodge game" off. The public wasn't buying George W's spin on things. In the end, polls showed that people just thought Dubya was afraid to take Gore on in a serious format. On Thursday, Bush fully capitulated to the original plan proposed by the bipartisan Commission on Presidential Debates.

Our objection to the whole Gail Sheehy/Vanity Fair dust up on Dubya being dyslexic is this: the charge is unfair to dyslexics. Being in the same boat as George W. would tarnish anyone's intelligence. After all, he could be an effective President even if he were dyslexic. The problem, however, is that he's dumb as a box of rocks.

In the most surreal moment of campaign 2000, George W. Bush admitted airing campaign ads against Gore that included the word "RATS" flashing across the screen. The bizarre revelation came in this morning's New York Times. Apparently, the ever-bumbling Bush campaign was making a crude attempt at conveying a "subliminal" negative message. Bush denies he approved the ad, but it has all the markings of a frat boy idea to us. It's kind of like Sci-Fi meets Animal House. Pretty soon the only rats George W. will need to worry about are his GOP backers who are going to start jumping ship.

George W. doesn't like Zack Exley, the creator of the scathingly satirical website, gwbush.com. In fact, Bush tried to get Exley's site closed down because it brought up issues the Bushman didn't want mentioned. Those Bush's really do have a thin skin for criticism. In an exclusive interview with BuzzFlash.com, Exley reveals the four most hypocritical things about George W.

U.S. News writer Gloria Borger says that the cockiness of the Bush campaign harkens back to the "gory days of Gingrich....The Bush campaign's hubris is eerily Gingrichian." She doesn't think that the preppy lad can win on an assumption that the voters will judge him "more decent" than Gore.

Adam Clymer, the New York Times reporter who was the on the receiving end of Bush's obscenity, told CNN that George W's vulgarity doesn't jibe with his promise of bringing diginity and decorum to the White House. Of course, we know that Bush thinks simply being a Bush bestows him with integrity. How wrong he is. You can't pump integrity into a hypocrite.

It got him out of trouble a thousand times before. The impish grin and the boyish charm worked like magic. During the years of drinking, drug abuse, skirt chasing, sophomoric pranks, and business failures, he would cock his head and flash a smile that made people forgive and forget. Of course, being a child of privilege, there were always nannies, caretakers, politicians, and wealthy parents to haul him out of the fire. But now George W. Bush is finding that the smirk isn't winning them over anymore. He might have to break a sweat if he's going to put up a fight. It's not something that he's used to.

Sure enough, when a candidate goes into a prolonged skid, blame the staff. Fox News reports that it overheard some GOP power brokers calling for a shake-up in the Bush Campaign. Of course, the best place to start cleaning house is to go right to the top. That's right, we're talking about the candidate. After all, he's managing the missteps all by his little ol'self.

Don't take our word for it. Read Dowd's lacerating commentary on George W's open mike obscenity. In the end, he's just a spoiled frat boy who believes that he was bred to rule. In Bush's pampered world, no reporter should question his integrity, because the Bushman believes it's in his blood line. That's why he tosses words like integrity, honor and civility around like cheap nickels. When you don't have to earn something, you can treat it with contempt. And he does.

You never know when a defining moment will occur in an election. For Al Gore, it may have been, to many a pundit's surprise, the Favio kiss he gave Tipper at the convention. For George W., it may be when he called an NYT reporter a "major league asshole" during a labor day rally in Naperville, Illinois. With all his lofty talk of civility and integrity, the Bush heir-apparent turns out to be the foul-mouthed frat boy we all suspected. He can hardly be holier-than-thou when he's cussing up a storm. Oh, and Dick Cheney's response to "Dubya's" "asshole" assessment of the print journalist. "Oh, yeah, he is big time." Aren't these guys natural born hypocrites? Well, they just potty-mouthed their way into a corner, a dunce's corner.

Of all the lame brain excuses, George W's PR people could feed him, they had him claim that the whiny new GOP attack ad is really an attempt at humor. You can see them sneering as they wrote the sound bite up for their candidate. Of course, George can hardly find his way out of the last sentence he entered without a script. But with spinmeisters like these, he better keep his day job.

As far as props go, George W. is fine and dandy. When he was with the Texas Rangers, the word is that he was best at being a "greeter" to fans and investors. Looking congenial and caring, however, is not enough to get by on when you are running for President. When a Federal judge says that you are not taking care of the health needs of children, hugging a kid a day just looks opportunistic. Sorry, George. You have to REALLY care to cut the mustard.

Ah yes, integrity and trustworthiness: that's what the Bush-Cheney team say they have and Gore doesn't. But didn't the Bush-Cheney "big oil" ticket say just yesterday that they wouldn't go negative? Hasn't George bragged about how he would win on his record (a rather daunting challenge)? So, dare we say, aren't Bush and Cheney less trustworthy now that they have gone negative? Integrity as a reason to vote for Bush? Forget about it.

Don't take it from us, that's what the political director of the Sierra Club says in an interview with BuzzFlash.com. "Soft money" commercials praising George W.'s record on the environment belong on the fiction shelf. His main contribution to the Texas environment was allowing major polluters to voluntarily reduce toxic emissions. That's a bit like letting fraternity brothers guard the beer kegs.

It seems there are two Dubya's running: the one who speaks the lofty platitudes about improving social services and education, and the one who has an abysmal record in Texas on most of these issues. Schools have been a high-profile campaign stop for Bush this year, but don't bring up the state of education in the state of Texas. Today's bad news for the Bushman is that Texas high school students are just about at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to scores on college entrance exams.

The Million Mom March was an unprecedented event. 500,000 - 800,000 women spent their Mother's Day in solidarity against gun violence. A new video tells their story. You can bet George Bush wasn't with them -- in body or philosophy. He's for guns in churches and hospitals and likes to cozy up to the NRA. That's our George, full of compassion for the guys who just can't get enough of guns and bullets.

Gore's numbers are a rising tide in many key states. He is now enjoying double digit leads in California and New Jersey. Although the Dems are not easing up on their campaign efforts, it is clear that the Bush campaign has been thrown off its game plan. It was planning to slice and dice Al Gore's credibility by now, but instead it is Bush's brainpower and desire to serve that has emerged as the question of the day.

The GOP is always getting indignant about alleged Democratic financial improprieties. But the Republicans are the ones who know how to put on the scam when it comes to fundraising. It might even be legal, but it sure isn't ethical. Whatever claims George W. makes to campaign finance reform, he isn't practicing any of them -- not in the least.

When you look at George Bush's stumbling performance over the last few days, you know why his pupeteers are knocking their knees at the thought of debates. Off script, he couldn't even explain his own tax plan. What is he going to do when Al Gore starts buzzsawing into him in a one-on-one? It looks like there is going to be a lot of sawdust on the floor, that's what. Maybe this is all some savvy effort to lower everyone's expectations and "Bush Lite" will come in and decimate Gore in the debates. Somehow, we don't think so.

As much as he claims to be a new kind of Republican, Bush keeps returning to some ancient GOP battle cries. For one thing, he is accusing the Clinton-Gore administration of neglecting the armed forces. On another front, he wants to build a missile defense system with all the bells and whistles. Since the Second World War, the GOP has attacked Democrats as being weak on defense. But George W. Bush, who evaded service in Vietnam, is no General Eisenhower. And his message is a few years out of date.

Can anyone in their right mind believe that "Dubya" would have gotten into Yale if he weren't the scion of a wealthy Eastern Seabord family? A big supporter of a cold war military build-up, last night George W. went to war with the English language. As a self-professed "free trader," Bush pledged "I will work to end terrors." He promised to end FOUR years of the Clinton-Gore administration. (So he has a math problem too.) You can be sure that they aren't going to let the Governor stray too far from his handlers.

The Bushman promised not to go negative on Al Gore, not that it means anything. Some of "Dubya's" comments lately have been over the top. Most recently, he accused Gore of sowing division and fomenting class warfare. When you are the son of privilege, as "Shrub" is, who has relied your whole life on lineage and the generosity of friends of your parents, maybe you might feel a little threatened by a meritocracy. If Bush weren't a Bush, he'd probably be a grease jockey at a Jiffy Lube -- and voting Democratic.

And if you don't believe us, just listen to the N.R.A.'s chief lobbyist in Washington, James Jay Baker, who cannot recall a single instance in which Mr. Bush, as governor, had opposed the group. "Not that I can remember," Mr. Baker said. Among Bush's more notable gun lobby favors is a law that allows people to carry guns into churches and hospitals.

Bush, the Junior one that is, admits that he earned "Gentleman C's" during his lackluster Yale years, but now the White House is accusing him of plagiarizing Clinton's speeches. Democratic sources offer passage-by-passage comparisons and make a very strong case. Can Gore prove to the American public that Bush's deeds and the goals of his conservative supporters belie his words?

Both the Washington Post and New York Times ran articles on Saturday revealing that Bush's acceptance speech came across as long on promise and short on specifics to the crucial swing voters. In informal focus groups, many fence-sitting voters also thought that the convention seemed straining too hard for the appearance of inclusiveness. This gives Gore an opening to put the meat on the bones, which he lost no time doing.

Bush gave his image consultants what they wanted: an acceptance speech long on dissembling and short on specifics. The conservative GOP convention delegates were willing to overlook the centrist window dressing and Bush's checkered past because they believe he will restore them to power. The GOP leadership would have ripped to shreds a Democrat with a personal history like Bush's. But last night, they wildly applauded the man whose chief claim to fame is his last name.

In a sign that some of Bill Clinton's jabs at "Dubya" are starting to draw blood, former President Bush threatened to tell the public what he really thinks about his successor. In this donnybrook, we'll put our money on Clinton in Round 2.

What's behind George W. Bush's "hug-a- minority-a-day" campaign? According to the New York Times, the target of his efforts to appear inclusive is the moderate suburban white voter.

The Republican Party once again adopted a platform to outlaw all abortions, with no exceptions for rape, incest, health, or even the life of the pregnant woman.