They're bugging the walls[1] at Buckingham Palace
Christopher Robin went down with Alice
"You'd think the King had never a care--
But look at that 'copter hovering there!"
Said Alice

They're doubling the guards at Buckingham Palace
Christopher Robin went down with Alice
George is hiding under the bed,
Afraid that the Queen will say 'Off with his head!'"
Said Alice

They're tripling the guards at Buckingham Palace
Christopher Robin went down with Alice
George was hiding under a Bush
They say that his brain is nothing but mush
Said Alice

They're quadrupling the guards at Buckingham Palace
Prince Charles went down with Robin and Alice
"They cancelled my visit over there--
I wanted peace, you know I care!"
Said Charles to Alice.

They're quintupling the guards at Buckingham Palace
Prince Charles went down, but not on Alice
The English press can't talk about that[2]
But they can say W's "no cattle, all hat"!
Said Alice

She's scaling the gates of Buckingham Palace
Christopher Robin watched with Alice
The world is in trouble, all around
That's why that flag is upside down[3]
Said Alice

They're trashing the grounds at Buckingham Palace[4]
Christopher Robin wept, with Alice.
"They've trampled the roses and made a mess
And haven't acted at all like guests,"
Said Alice.

Composed in the course of a discussion on Salon Tabletalk. "Quintupling the guards" stanza added by "Sugar Magnolia." With apologies to A.A. Milne

1. "It was a Good Idea at the Time"

2. "Tabloids Give Prince Charles Page 1 Respite"

3. "Protester Gran Flies the Anti-War Flag"