Democrats.com's Spin Control Machine Relabels Right Wing Web Sites 

(Washington, DC 3/19/02) On the heels of the successful launch of the Democrats.com Spin Congrol Machine, Democrats.com is proud to announce the release of a new upgrade.  Like version 1.0, the new Spin Control Machine is a major achievement in our ongoing effort to recapture the English language from reactionary forces who would hijack it.  The Spin Control Machine relabels Web sites that misrepresent themselves by giving them actual working Internet addresses that accurately reflect what may be found on these sites.  This has become urgent since the events of September 11th, since it is now commonplace for the extreme right to try to appropriate the language of patriotism and claim exclusive proprietorship of the words indicating a love of America. 

If you think there are other crazy conservative zealots to be exposed, let us know by sending us e-mail to itsnotover@democrats.com.  

The new version 1.1 includes a delicate Verbal Decoding Device that is capable of understanding even the most subtle misrepresentations.  With this new tool, even more right wing dishonesty has been found on the Internet:

Rightwingscams.com is the new public name for Vote.com, which calls itself non-partisan yet somehow manages to frame each "poll" in language that equates the right wing response with the right response.

Rightwingdistortions.com is the name the Spin Control Machine assigned to the Orange County Register, perhaps the most dishonest first amendment-based enterprise in the U.S.  Opinions contrary to the paper's overt Libertarian perspective will not be tolerated.  What brand of Libertarianism is that?

Rightwingfabrications.com is the term in proper American English for the regular screed known as WorldNetDaily.  Be sure to check out their vengance against Secretary of State Colin Powell for his observation that condom use by sexually active people would cut down on the spread of AIDS.  Out here in civilization that is a pretty common observation, but in the world of WorldNetDaily it is scandalous.

And please don't forget the original sites that the Spin Control Machine relabelled:

www.rightwingloonies.com has been awarded to BushCountry.org for the gloriously twisted observation that since the Bush electoral votes cover more real estate than Gore's, this shows that Bush won the popular vote for president.  [In fact, if you remove the bonus electoral votes that come from 100 Senate seats (which massively tip the scale toward rural interests) and stick with the principle of one person one vote, Gore won a wide electoral college victory in addition to having won more votes than Bush.]

The Spin Control Machine has given www.rightwingfruitcakes.com to ConservativeHQ.com, out of admiration for how well Richard Viguerie has been able to confuse rightwing activists into financing the growth of his own commercial interests at their expense.

Patrick Buchanan has won the right to send people to www.rightwingnutcases.com to find his extremist commentaries.  Since Pat has now left the Republican Party for being too moderate, how much longer until he renounces his American citizenship and seeks asylum in Paraguay?

Better watch what you say on FreeRepublic.com, which will now be known as www.rightwingnuts.com.  Believe it or not, they have to urge people to hold up on their rhetorical attacks against the U.S. government since it has become so embarrassing for our rightwing nuts to find they are actually supporting the work of America's foreign adversaries.  Whoops -- wrong Jihad!

Finally, in the scandalously irresponsible personal behavior category, we've awarded www.rightwingvitriol.com to Bill O'Reilly (new slogan: "Only an idiot would believe he's fair and balanced"), www.rightwingcrazies.com to Ann Coulter (for her memorable call to assassinate the leaders of foreign countries and convert their citizens to Christianity), and www.rightwingfanatics.com to radio commentator Gary Nolan for his overtly racist demonization of Jesse Jackson in a cynical attempt to lure angry white men to his audience.  Congratulations for setting new lows and shame on all of you for testing the limits of tolerance.